…It’s just how it is.

Today I found myself a little discouraged.

Last night I had random dreams, and my ex unfortunately was in my dream. It was not pleasant. I don’t always remember my dreams, but my dreams are always crazy.

During the day, this brought me back to the day I married my ex. I was 21.

Frankly, I was unsure about what I was doing as I waited for the ceremony to start with my dad and the preacher. I was specifically thinking about just not doing this. Not going through with it. Taking a hike.

I didn’t, but I wish I did. So many people there, so much preparation, time and money – I felt I couldn’t back out. It was too late.

I regret not backing out, but then on my run, I heard the lyrics:

“Well, I guess I’m better late than not at all/ Or did you plan it this way all along?/Cuz without suffering grace is hard to see/ So maybe I’m right where I’m supposed to be.”

After hearing this MercyMe song dozens of times before, this struck new meaning – no need for regret, God knew what would happen, and I am where I am supposed to be.

I’m not late to the party. I am right on time.

This ain’t wishful thinking, it’s just how it is…